As mentioned in class, culture is a practice of values or beliefs that are accepted by the society. In this blog post I would like to talk about a culture which I believe has only emerged recently in the Western countries. Pre-marital sex is becoming a norm and practiced by most Westerners, both adults and teenagers. Surprisingly, the society seems to be very open and receptive towards the idea of pre-marital sex. In fact, it is “uncool” for an adult to remain a virgin.
Culture is something that is not stagnant. Culture could also be passed from one society to another. However, when the idea of pre-marital sex was brought to Asian countries, it was not accepted by most of the societies here especially among the older generations. Just take Singapore for example; pre-marital sex is more of a trend than a culture among the teenagers but it is seen as a problem to the society. As we know, the society in Singapore is still quite conservative thus making sexual topics a taboo. In addition, most of the religions practiced here disapprove pre-marital sex.
The question is how such culture managed to influence a conservative society like us. This may be due to exposure from the media and the easy excess to the cyber world. Thus, parents play an important role to educate their children about such issues.
However, problems that is related to pre-marital sex such as abortion has been on the rise in Singapore. This may be due to ineffective communication among parents and their teenage children. As mentioned earlier, sexual topic is still a taboo in our society, thus teenagers turn to alternatives such as experimenting to find answers for their curiosity. This could also be a result of ineffective communication between the media and the viewers. The producer might have intended to convey message A by including some intimate scenes, however the viewers could only remember the intimate scenes from the show instead of capturing the intended message.
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Why did I choose to talk about this culture trait? Recently I and my guy friend, who is Malay, had a conversation with two other friends who are Chinese. I was shocked when they actually asked me and my guy friend if we “had done it” and they were surprised when we told them we have not. To me such topic is still pretty much a taboo even among friends. After the meet up, I actually asked my guy friend why such question was posted to us. According to my guy friend, it is common for his Chinese friends to practice pre-marital sex and some of them even cohabitate. This trait is becoming a norm and they are opened to discuss about it among friends.
The next question that came to my mind was, what about their parents? Do their parents allow them to stay together even before they got married? I guess the Chinese parents are becoming more opened about such issues as compared to the Malay parents. But surprisingly, statistics shows that 248, or half of the 495 newborns registered without a father's name in 2006, had Malay mums. A third of the 495 mums last year were aged 19 or younger. Thus, it is wrong to say that the activity is more common among the Chinese teens than the Malays or teens of other races.
I guess in a country like Singapore, such culture trait have influence the younger community but the acceptance level differ between the different age group and the different races.
Culture is something that is not stagnant. Culture could also be passed from one society to another. However, when the idea of pre-marital sex was brought to Asian countries, it was not accepted by most of the societies here especially among the older generations. Just take Singapore for example; pre-marital sex is more of a trend than a culture among the teenagers but it is seen as a problem to the society. As we know, the society in Singapore is still quite conservative thus making sexual topics a taboo. In addition, most of the religions practiced here disapprove pre-marital sex.
The question is how such culture managed to influence a conservative society like us. This may be due to exposure from the media and the easy excess to the cyber world. Thus, parents play an important role to educate their children about such issues.
However, problems that is related to pre-marital sex such as abortion has been on the rise in Singapore. This may be due to ineffective communication among parents and their teenage children. As mentioned earlier, sexual topic is still a taboo in our society, thus teenagers turn to alternatives such as experimenting to find answers for their curiosity. This could also be a result of ineffective communication between the media and the viewers. The producer might have intended to convey message A by including some intimate scenes, however the viewers could only remember the intimate scenes from the show instead of capturing the intended message.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Why did I choose to talk about this culture trait? Recently I and my guy friend, who is Malay, had a conversation with two other friends who are Chinese. I was shocked when they actually asked me and my guy friend if we “had done it” and they were surprised when we told them we have not. To me such topic is still pretty much a taboo even among friends. After the meet up, I actually asked my guy friend why such question was posted to us. According to my guy friend, it is common for his Chinese friends to practice pre-marital sex and some of them even cohabitate. This trait is becoming a norm and they are opened to discuss about it among friends.
The next question that came to my mind was, what about their parents? Do their parents allow them to stay together even before they got married? I guess the Chinese parents are becoming more opened about such issues as compared to the Malay parents. But surprisingly, statistics shows that 248, or half of the 495 newborns registered without a father's name in 2006, had Malay mums. A third of the 495 mums last year were aged 19 or younger. Thus, it is wrong to say that the activity is more common among the Chinese teens than the Malays or teens of other races.
I guess in a country like Singapore, such culture trait have influence the younger community but the acceptance level differ between the different age group and the different races.
Edited 04/03/09
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Ayu,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post. You rightly identify pre-marital sex as an important issue, especially as it is practiced in many countries today where kids as young as 13 and 14 are having not just a first kiss but also intercourse. I wouldn't say this is new in America though. In fact, there is lots of evidence that in America and in many other societies worldwide sex before marriage has been quite common for at least the last 60 years, and probably longer. Maybe what is new is that pre-marital and extra-marital sex are so openly portrayed/aggrandized today in the media, whether movies, MTV, TV, magazines, etc.
In line with what I understand from your post, I can say that I agree that cultural transmission, the sharing of values, norms, and behaviors, is having an impact on societies such as Singapore. Obviously, the old ways are changing. You're also right in saying that cultures are not stagnant, but dynamic. To see just how far things are changing though, I'd like to see some statistics. What is the rate of teenage pregnancy today in Singapore, say, in comparison to 10 years ago, or 20 years ago, or 30 years ago? How has the abortion rate changed? (Are more young girls today having abortions rather than getting married young, compared to girls 20 years ago?)
Your post has inspired me to think about this. At the same time, I get a bit lost in seeing how this discussion is an intercultural observation per the assignment. I wonder if you could have made this clearer and more concrete by citing some specific example(s).
Ayu, I think you might have gotten an interpretation of the question not intended by our lovely Brad! However, I think your writing is not totally out of point. In fact, I think you have chosen a very interesting topic! Perhaps you may want to narrow this discussion to a particular conversation you have had with someone?
ReplyDeleteDo check out 2.2 of http://courses.nus.edu.sg/Course/elcbb/ES2007S/1%206%20Fostering%20Intercultural%20Communication.pdf because I think Brad wants us to limit it to a specific scenario. I look forward to read your edited post! (:
Hi Brad, Hi Moses
ReplyDeleteMy initial intention was to give a broad scenario about the perception of per-marital sex and how the different society reacts to this. There are conflicting ideas in different societies about this culture. But I guess I still have to give a more specific scenario. I will try to write another post as soon as possible.
Dear Ayu,
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say that you need to write another post. Couldn't you just add to this one? An example of how one person views premarital sex, thanks to their upbringing, discussing this topic with another with very different views, attributable to their socio-cultural background, would suffice.
Hi Ayu,
ReplyDeleteI find your statement 'it is uncool to be a virgin' very interesting. Culture gives us the sense of belonging and reality that we supposedly share with others. It makes us feel that things should be 'just the way they are'. By thinking that being a virgin is uncool, haven't we allowed ourselves to be controlled by something as intangible as culture? Are we really capable of self-control or is culture controlling us?
Dear Ayu,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting topic that you talk about. It is very true as to how most societies are starting to engage in pre-marital sex. Even in Sri Lanka most of the teenagers engage in pre-marital sex and the interesting part is some parents are very open-minded about it. The best example I could give is one of my best friend’s got pregnant while she was still in high school and her parents were quite supportive towards her. Of course it’s only a handful of families that’s so open minded about pre-marital sex as the rest are all very conservative.
On a personal note, I see nothing wrong with pre-marital sex as long as people are aware of the consequences and the responsibilities that come along with it. Always found this to be a very interesting topic.
Hi Duane,
ReplyDeleteI think in some situation we are being controlled by our culture. For an example not to sweep your house during Chinese New Year or to wear Baju Kurung during Hari Raya. These are just some simple examples where culture restricts our decisions. However, I believe the extent of control changes from one generation to another and eventually some culture traits vanishes. Thus in such situation, we are in control of ourselves. I hope I did answer your questions correctly. Anyway thank you for your comment.
Hi Dinidu,
ReplyDeleteTo me, teenagers now are quite opened about pre-marital sex and not surprising that more of them are engaged in such activities. But personally, I think sexual intercourse is something special for married couples. And I believe that one of the greatest present a wife can give her husband on their “first night” is her virginity. Hahahaha. However, I do not have negative views toward those who think pre-marital sex is O.K or those who are engage in pre-marital sex. As you mention, as long they are aware and responsible for their own action, it is fine. Thanks for your feedback.
Thank you very much, Ayu, for adding info. That really clarifies your discussion and makes the post resonate with meaning.
ReplyDeleteAnd those statistics speak for themselves!
I think the abortion rate in Singapore will continue to rise. Teens are more opened and are more easily influenced by their peer. Sad to say the abortion rate among malays are on the rise and i believe it is rising faster than any other culture group in Singapore. Many campaigns had been organised specifically for the malay society to tackle this issue. Programs are also shown on Suria Channel to make ttens realise of the consuquences of premarital sex. However i think this steps are not very effective.
ReplyDeleteAyu